tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396516010120802422.post9090032424541507988..comments2022-07-23T23:32:09.467-07:00Comments on Ask Miyoko: "Oscar Curse" or new discussions for your relationship?Miyokohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06467917016104810701noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396516010120802422.post-24275980959682509052010-04-05T19:20:41.750-07:002010-04-05T19:20:41.750-07:00I agree with your statement about full disclosure....I agree with your statement about full disclosure. Honest, open communication is necessary in my book, but let's face it, many people are unable to be honest when the "stuff" hits the fan. We have an innate response to act in fear, insecurity, or with more lies.<br /><br />Whether Sandra Bullock should've "known better" is irrelevant. We generally don't know better until we've been burned, and who's to say at what decade in life that burning takes place. <br /><br />Our human nature provides the need to empty our bladders, but we evolved socially as colonies were formed, and the need to dispose of this waste became an issue. <br /><br />I agree that as humans we strive to be better than our animal instincts for the sake of society, but at what cost? Serial monogamy runs rampant in this country. Men and women are marrying and divorcing multiple times, creating broken homes and extended families. I am not saying that is bad, unacceptable, or detrimental to society, but I am also not one to say that monogamy is the ONLY option for married couples. Polygamy (as featured by Big Love on HBO), polygany, polyamory, and homogamy are practiced, whether legal or not.<br /><br />While Tiger Woods and Jesse James try to be married in the "ideal" world, Monique and Sydney have made an agreement that works for them.<br /><br />Ultimately we both agree that this is an opportunity to look at our relationships and discuss with our partners what we expect, and are capable of, in our commitments to one another.Miyokohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06467917016104810701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396516010120802422.post-25691709423042869142010-04-02T23:18:36.797-07:002010-04-02T23:18:36.797-07:00I think that you summed it up well with simply; Is...I think that you summed it up well with simply; Is the couple on the same page? I am surprised that Sandra Bullock was "blindsided" by this. When they first got together I saw that coming a mile away. I love Jesse James, but...c'mon!<br /><br />I don't believe, however, that this is a result of the flawed nature of monogamy. If we are "programmed" to be monogamous, then we are programmed to use the toilet, have manners, better ourselves, strive to make the world a better place and not abandon our children when they are old enough to fend for themselves. All these things and many more go against our nature, but I have always believed that to be a very "human" quality.<br /><br />Full disclosure is paramount in any relationship, whether that involves extra-marital affairs, finances, or whether or not to have children. <br /><br />It is really simple, at 40+ years old Sandra Bullock should have known what she was getting into. On the other hand, we don't know what kind of discussions they had as a couple, he could have promised his undying fidelity on many occasions....who knows? To me, any breach of trust, financially, sexually...whatever, is a symptom of a greater problem. Something in that relationship is missing.<br /><br />The one thing we sometimes overlook is that there are a fair number of marriages, "Hollywood" or otherwise that do quite well, monogamous or not. They are not reported on as often but they're out there. <br /><br />One thing that can be said in regards to the train wrecks we do read about is that it's just another reminder to the rest of us. Have we done what it takes to make our own relationships successful in what ever way we have defined "success" for ourselves.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com