"Oscar Curse" or new discussions for your relationship?

I've been reading all the scandalous gossip swirling around Hollywood's sweetheart, Sandra Bullock and her not so sweet husband, Jesse James. His alleged affair with tattoo model Michelle "Bombshell" McGee is a nauseating, overwhelming, and completely un-shocking chapter in the world of guilty pleasures. But as much as I would like to comment on the details, I am already tired of the story. What I do find interesting is the combination of a this "breaking news" in the aftermath of Sandra Bullock's Oscar win as best actress (yes, I know it's officially "actor"), to the interview between Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner Mo'nique and Barbara Walters.

We are so quick to talk about the cheating husband, the poor unsuspecting wife, and the slutty mistress, but nobody is talking about the happily married couple in a self-proclaimed "open marriage."

Here's a woman who is confident enough to NOT SHAVE her hairy legs, and says an affair is not a deal breaker in their relationship. I salute the strength and honesty of Mo'nique. I think her attitude and outlook on marriage, especially in Hollywood is a much more realistic approach to the unnatural agreement of monogamy.

Yes, I said UNnatural. Humans are not monogamous by nature. We have been socially programmed to be monogamous as a survival tactic. Long before religion had a say in how we should be committed to one another, evolution played a role in determining the optimal relationship status for humans. Homo sapiens were in danger of becoming extinct, there was a strong desire to procreate and speculation suggests that had early man been monogamous, that inbreeding would have done our species in.

Marriage is a relatively modern concept: a contractual agreement before God and country that two people promise to practice monogamy and remain partners til death. For this promise, they receive status and tax benefits... sounds romantic doesn't it?

Sandra Bullock proclaimed her love for Jesse James, and thanked him at nearly every recent acceptance speech I can think of. She obviously bought into the whole monogamy thing, and yet he allegedly has not.

Mo'nique and Sydney Hicks have publicly claimed they have an open marriage. She told Barbara Walters on her Oscar interview that if either of them wanted to have an affair with another person that it would not jeopardize their marriage.

So, for all of you in relationships, I think it's the perfect time to discuss these two award winning actresses and decide which one you'll be. Will you be the lead actor in a role, getting blindsided when you discover that your supporting actor isn't who you thought he was, or will you be happily fulfilled as a best supporting actress to your lifelong partner?

Let's face it folks, there are two kinds of lovers out there, one who is dedicated to and capable of monogamy, and those who aren't. The problem is, most people don't find out if their spouse is on the same page until it's too late. Mo'nique has blazed a trail to openly discuss marriage with your partner. Whether or not you decide to walk down the path to truth is up to you.

The pocket rocket meets it's match-introducing the Masseur, a new vibe from Cal Exotics!

Not for many years has the simple and effective function of the infamous pocket rocket been challenged. Sure there are several slender vibes that boast the power of the pocket rocket, but they've never been able to compete with the design of the easy-to-use, hand-held rod.

Look out beloved rockets, the new Masseur has arrived!



It's sleek, it's waterproof, and it has seven functions of vibrations to give pocket rocket lovers the options they yearned for! The biggest complaint of rocket addicts is the lack of options. There is no low-to-high dial on most models, no choices in vibration or escalation, and rarely could you find one with something other than a hard plastic exterior. The time has come to upgrade your battery operated boyfriend....

The Masseur is made of silicone, has a feather touch button to change functions, and is ergonomically shaped to fit in your hand. (How many times has your wrist felt the strain of lengthy pocket rocket action?) It is powerful enough to stimulate the clitoris, tickle the testicles, or work out a pinched nerve.

Which is exactly what you'll tell the TSA it's for when they pull it out of your bag at airport security.... OOh, and it's available in pink, or black!

Couture sex toys?

Couture sex toys are nothing new. We've heard the rumors about Posh Spice getting a diamond encrusted vibrator as a gift from her super stud husband David Beckham, and the celebs who drop serious dollars on romance products and sex toys, like Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria, and Halle Berry.


So what's a suburban gal to to do when she wants a little more stylish technology between her legs? Good news ladies, we have a lot of options. Not only have new manufacturers popped onto the scene, but long-time toy manufacturers are onto the needs and wants of it's customers.

The Couture collection from Cal Exotics is a sleek, sexy, and satisfying line of premium silicone products designed to please the stylish gal and her pocket book! These vibes and pleasure balls are elegantly shaped for sensual experiences... The velvety silicone material slides easily with just a little lubrication.

Toys like the Patina (dual simulating vibe from the petite couture collection), offer multi-speed rotation for delightful internal pleasures, and powerful clitoral vibrations to achieve orgasm at your own pace. Naturally the chic gal would want some musical ambiance to add to the overall experience. Here's my audio recommendations:

Start with the slow rotation speed of the shaft, and low vibration setting accompanied with Barry White songs, then go to the second level-just slightly faster, and kick up the vibration a notch, grinding to the beat of something like LL Cool J's "Doin' it," and finally kick into high gear with the fastest rotation and maybe some pulsing beats on the clitoris to "Addicted" by saving Abel, or "Crazy Bitch" by Buck Cherry.

Want to get your very own couture vibe? Email me or check out my website for more info!

Valentine's Day is coming

That's right, it's almost here! The most (and least) romantic day of the year! Sure, I am an anti V-day chic myself, but I AM also a parent, who apparently must succumb to any and all celebratory holidays.... Okay, truth be told, I can be a sucker for telling the ones I love that, well... "I love them!"

I don't agree with the overly expensive dinners, over crowded restaurants and lame cards, but there are a few things I dig! Here are a few of my faves, plus some tips on how to make Valentine's day fun ad sexy with stuff you already have lying around!

Pictures may say 1000 words, but these cards tell it like it is! check out Hipstercards.com for fun email-able V-day cards!






Chocolates are not only a natural aphrodisiac, but they are sexy to eat, melt and smother on your lover, and of course, swallow. Most of us have some sort of chocolate laying around, so grab it, met it down and use a paint brush, or your finger to brush it on your lover and lick it off! Chocolate does contain sugar however, so make sure none of it goes internally and causes a bacterial infection.... not sexy.

I grabbed some from Trader Joe's that are delish, or you can get this Sweet Heart box from Kama Sutra with everything ready to go, and sugar free!

Need some other sexy ideas?

1. Seduce them with food...Natural Aphrodisiacs you may already have in your fridge/spice cabinet!
We already discussed chocolate, but what other things add some heat from the kitchen to the bedroom? Read more here!
2. Dress yourself up!
Lingerie may seem like an expensive luxury these days, but most of us have some sexy panties, or stockings from our single days! Just add a red ribbon tied around your neck, or paint on some edible body paints in the shape of hearts over your nipples!
3. Tease them with a Lap Dance!
This one is easy! Doesn't take much to give a lap dance, just four basic steps to performing it, and the second you start the music and come out, he'll know what's up! It won't even matter at that point what you do! But here's the breakdown, walk in, half straddle him, putting one leg inside of his, then full straddle and right 'em cowgirl! Then do the reverse, lay back and wrap your arm around his neck. If you want more instruction, email or call me about doing a workshop!
4. Touch and reconnect through relaxation or erotic massage.
Erotic Massage is a great way to get the blood pumping literally and figuratively! Stimulating the pelvic area is great for circulation and reconnecting with your lover. using somewhat firm, but still gentle movements, go in circular motions down toward the pelvis , diving in between the legs, but not touching the genitals and continue repeating the movements. Use a massage oil, or hot oil massage candle to make the experience sensual and relaxing all at once!
5. Put a ring on it!... couples enhancement rings bring on the fun!
Who says diamonds are a girl's best friend? They haven't used a powerful vibrating couples ring! Slip one on him, let it rest all the way at the bottom of the shaft, and turn on the vibrating bullet for you! If you're a manual stimulation gal, or like to grind into him to get your needs met, you'll love the extra attention with these rings! The Elite Exciter, Twice as Nice, and Red Hot Love are my favorites!

What's Jack got?! New Thrusting action!

I wrote an article about Jack Rabbits years ago, attesting to their amazing ability to give women quick, satisfying, and multiple orgasms. Now they've upped the ante. These new Thrusting Jack Rabbit vibes from Cal Exotics really know how to... ahem... stick it to you!



The "Original" Jack Rabbit has had women at hello for the past several years, so it's about time they came up with some intense upgrades to give us something to wish for! The new waterproof Thrusting Jack Rabbit is made with TPE and it's controls are fully encompassed within the big boy itself. He stands at just over 11" but only 4.75 of those is insertable, with a vibrating, pulsating, and escalating rabbit to tickle your clitoris! With five rows of stimulating balls, you're almost GUARANTEED an orgasm or two. Three rows that thrust as the lower two rows spin for stimulation at the vaginal introitus (opening), which is where you have the most nerve endings aside from the beloved clitoris.

The question is, "How lazy do you want to be?" This toy will literally do ALL THE WORK FOR YOU! You won't even need to move it in or out to find the right spot. It will simulate penetration in a 1/2 inch area, providing enough excitement to get you off.

A great multifunction vibe for the couple who likes to play together. He can turn it on and watch her writhe. Only requires 4 AA batteries for nights of endless pleasure!

Need one for your toy box? Get a thrusting vibe here!

And here's the old article for your enjoyment (and convenience)!
Girls of today are paying their own way, opening their own doors and getting themselves off, so what’s a guy to do? Spy on the competition! He’s got a true 6.5” shaft, that’s made of pink jelly, filled with rotating pearls, and has a vibrating rabbit that is positioned exactly where she wants it! Not only does he supply multiple O’s in record time, but he’s ready to go at the drop off a hat and turns off with the click of a button.

The good news? “JACK” doesn’t kiss back. Most women include french kissing as the #1 thing they want in a sexual encounter. See, we still need you for something! But don’t fool yourselves boys, we don’t always want to be kissed or even talked to. The Nielsen Net Ratings reports show that over 25% of the people logging into adult websites are women. That’s more than 10 million in December of last year alone! Women are just as interested in sex as you are. And surprise! We don’t necessarily require conversation, validation, or to be “held” afterwards. If you think you’re enough to satify her every desire, think again. 75% of women the age of 25-34 own atleast one sex toy .

So how do you compete? Beat him at his own game! You are delicious sensual flesh, you have the abs, the arms and the ass we love to squeeze! Add a vibrating cock ring to your piece d’resistance and voila! You have become the ultimate jack rabbit! One who is capable of completely engaging us in hours of sexual bliss. Or buy one for your girl and watch her eyes (and legs) open wide.... Bring Jack into your foreplay routine and she’ll be like warm butter when you finally get your turn. Sloppy seconds? Hardly! The truth is that the vaginal walls contract (tighten) during orgasm. Get her off once or twice before you thrust your love muscle, and you’ll both be happier you did.

There’s something to be learned from Jack.... Jack’s only quest in life is to please the ladies, and he does it with ease. He only requires three “C” batteries and a little cleanup in between. So next time you dive into her oasis consider this: You are replaceable.

"Dirty" Hanukkah?- Why can't I find any sexy Hanukkah gifts?

If you're celebrating Hanukkah, you will be busy trying to find sexy gifts for the Festival of Lights. There are several thousand options for Naughty Stocking stuffers and Sexy Santa costumes for gentiles, but a whole lot of nothing for those of you "zitsn oyf shpilkes" when the lights go down on the those eight nights!

What's a horny Jew to do?! Stop shvitsn, I searched some fun ideas for a sexy night (or all eight) to remember!


1. Start with a sexy Hanukkah card to get the week off to a great start. Make sure you write some sexy plans for the nights to come, or at least promise some fun footsy under the table, after you pass the kugel....


2. Play a game of Strip Dreidel!

Instead of scoring coins, candies, or pretzels, you'll get to score some action.
Nun - Nisht - the player doesn't take anything off, or put anything on.
Gimmel - Gantz - the player must remove an undergarment.
Hey - Halb - The player puts on an article of clothing from the "pot."
Shin - Shtel - The player removes an article of clothing and places it into the "pot."



3. Find a new way to enjoy your gelt!
After a game of "Strip" dreidel, be sure to put those golden coins to good use. Melt them down and use a paintbrush (you can buy a small one at the hardware store for under $1) to brush sweet nothings on your lover's body. Or stay in the spirit of Hanukkah and paint the star of David. Hey, who I am to judge? If melting the chocolate is too much work, you can buy chocolate sauce and brush here... but it's not kosher.



4. Spice up the Brisket!
Make your nights heat up with the help of a natural aphrodisiac, Cayenne. The spice, when ingested, dilates the blood vessels increasing circulation to all the major organs. It is believed that cayenne aids in longer lasting erections, with stronger ejaculations and more intense orgasms.



5. Set the mood with sexy Hanukkah music! It's not all "I have a little dreidel" out there... there's plenty of cool jew music available to stay in the holiday spirit without making you feel like you're a kid. This talented band has put an Indy spin on making fun music about Jewish traditions, a la Adam Sandler, but with a funky beat. The actual words kinda sneak up on you! In fact, I'd even play their "Nun, Gimmel, Heh, Shin" track while playing Strip Dreidel...

There's also a great electro disco track from Kitsune:complilation 6 entitled Hanukkah, this compilation of various artists on the Hanukkah Lounge, a perfect soundtrack to your night of sipping martinis or scotch while you enjoy the company of friends and family. And of course, you always have Matisyahu


6. Give them the gift of pleasure.
Not all your gift giving needs to be practical! Give them a beautiful glass toy to enhance your lovelife, and stay in the spirit of the Holiday. YES, it is blue and white, and it even lights up!! What could be more perfect?




7. Add new positions to your lovemaking!
Liberator shapes are an amazing addition to your bedroom. The woman's pelvis is lifted to just the right position for G-spot stimulation and gives her access to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. The man gets the benefit of maintaining positions effortlessly to enjoy angles without killing his lower back... let's face it, who really enjoys manual labor?



8. Dress up for the Occasion!
Who says there's no sexy Hanukkah fairy? Slip into this costume, and make all his dreams comes true!

I'm sensitive to Latex Condoms, what choices do I have in protection?

As a woman, you have choices. If I were choosing a non-latex condom, the new polyisoprene would be my first inclination. There are however, other options you should be aware of before you let the love glove slide in unnoticed.... which I realize can easily happen. I mean, who really inspects the package, let along the condom before he slides it on? If you're the one applying the protection, maybe you're checking it out. If you're not-consider doing a quick once over before he tosses the package, afterall... all protection is NOT created equal. (don't worry guys, your MAGNUM's are made of latex)

That being said, what are some brands of non-latex condoms for those who are interested in safe sex? I recently discovered Lifestyles new SKYN condoms, released to the US in 2008. They are a Polyisoprene material versus the less than adequate option we've had up to this point, polyurethane. This new revolutionary material has achieved FDA approval for pregnancy and STD protection, while providing a more natural feel for both partners, maintaining the strength of latex while boasting the sensitivity of an ultra thin condom.




Then you have the less reliable polyurethane, which I realize may have been the only option til recent, for those gals out there with latex allergies. Yikes! These babies are not FDA approved for safe protection against STD's or unwanted pregnancy, and have been know to break easily. Should you encounter a man using these condoms, you may want to take notice and make a choice that could affect your evening.... and the rest of your life.

If you're a crunchy type and wonder what you could use to keep the sex natural, you can opt for the Lamb skin condoms, which are NOT proven to protect against STD's but are considered effective against pregnancy. So if you're simply looking for contraception, this could be a viable option for you. Be warned, they are more expensive than the synthetics and may not be as aromatically pleasing.

So what do these "other" condoms look like?





There are many women and men out there who would prefer to go bareback than use condoms, but thankfully we care more about our bodies and our partners than to risk the long-term, and potentially life-threatening consequences that could result.

While you may not like the feel of latex condoms, it is still recommended (by the FDA) that only people with LATEX ALLERGIES use non-latex condoms for their protection from Sexually Transmitted diseases.

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