Thursday, January 30, 2014

Wanna Own their Ass this Valentine's Day?!

Okay, so some of these gifts will literally have you owning their ass, but there are also some gifts that will figuratively have them in the palm of your hand too...Here are my picks for sexy fun gifts this Valentine's Day!

Why get stuck doing the same 'ole thing? Skip the "usual" roses and candy, and go for something with a little more pizazz and originality!

If you want to REALLY blow her mind?! Get her a gift that shows her how much her happiness means to you...Let me introduce you to the Duet, a top of the line vibrator that has everything she's ever wanted. Quality, style, function, discretion, and power are all included in this whisper quiet, waterproof vibrator.

She can use it solo, or with you, and will love the custom message you have engraved right onto the handle of her precious metal. Completely waterproof when assembled, the silicone tip has dual motors, and charges with a USB connection so she'll never have to worry about batteries again.

Not sold? Go for a variation of candy and roses...

This Naughty Candy heart butt plug sends your message loud and clear, but with the innocence of our favorite conversation candies! Made of safe, soft silicone, and designed for ease of insertion and comfort.

If she's buying it... I recommend inserting before the clothes come off, so he can discover his sexy surprise when he unwraps you!

If he's buying it... proceed with caution, anal sex can be a touchy subject! If it's a new topic for you, combine this toy with a few other choices of play things so she doesn't feel backed into a corner. A goody bag of lube, another external vibrator, and a couples ring would be an excellent selection of choices so she can decide how she wants to play.

I can't speak for your woman, but I don't want a bouquet of long stem roses on Valentine's Day (or any other day, not my flower). I'd much rather my man spend his hard earned cash on a gift that won't wilt, and be tossed in the trash in a week or two. This gorgeous glass rose is designed to give years of pleasure. It's bulbous tip is perfect for teasing her external parts, and then when she's nice and relaxed, going in for the kill. The solid shaft will hold it's shape while her muscles contract around the varying shapes. Glass is completely non-porous and will not harbor bacteria, making this toy safe for either vaginal or anal play. Make sure it only goes V to A, not A to V without being sanitized first! Glass is also a wonderful product for temperature play. It is cool to the touch and warms to one's body temperature, or can be manipulated by a glass of warm water or cold water by the bed.

If she's buying it... Place it on the table as a centerpiece for your seductive candlelit dinner for two, then ask your Valentine to show you what it's really for.

If he's buying it... tie a bow around it and present it to her when the time is right! Don't "shove" it anywhere, show her it can be a delicate flower, and use it to caress her face while you whisper in her ear all the things you want to do to her.

Nothing says love like cuffs! These cute stretchy cuffs aren't aggressive restraints, but instead are a sexy suggestion that you're willing to do anything for your Valentine. The elastic bands can be worn on wrists or small ankles and the sexy red satin can be tied into a bow.

If she's buying it... after dinner slip into something a little more comfortable, and slide these onto your wrists and present yourself to your Valentine!

If he's buying wrap these with a sexy bit of lingerie you want to see her wearing. Don't worry about what she likes, get her something that you want to see her in, and tell her how excited you'll be when you get to tear it off of her!

Want more than just a suggestion of submission? The "Forget the Roses" Gift set includes lots of playful options! A Rubber Tickler, Red Bondage kit, 4-Ring Cock Cage, Feathered Nipple Clamps, Adjustable Rope restraint, Elastabind for ankles and wrists, a 3-piece tether kit, Jeweled Flogger, and Red Silky Sashes Bulk. It even comes wrapped up in a gift box and bow!

Whoever is buying this... lay it on top of the bed, or your favorite playroom! You guys are pros, you can figure out the scenario!

Message me for where to buy!

Friday, January 24, 2014

The Problem with Romantic Love...

I know, I know... bah humbug, happy fucking Valentine's Day, right? But hear me out...

A friend and I were discussing the problem with romantic love the other day, and I felt like I sounded as though I don't believe in love, or like the feeling of being in-love, and let me just clarify now by saying that's just not true. Who doesn't enjoy the rush of adrenaline (and hormones, yes) when you receive an attentive message or phone call from someone who has become the object of your obsession? Who doesn't appreciate how easy it is to fall in-love with someone you barely know? When all your love depends on, is the other person showing up and being remotely interesting, and showering you with attention. But married couples and those in long-term relationships will agree, that those kind of feelings generally don't sustain themselves. And I don't mean to insinuate that couples who have been together for years don't get butterflies when they see each other, and aren't capable of having hot sexy nights of passion reminiscent of the days when they first began dating. What I am saying is that I don't recommend building relationships based on simply "romantic love."

Romantic Love by definition is risky, volatile, dramatic, possessive, conditional, and one-sided. Wikipedia has a pretty great handle on it... check out general definition #2: The addition of drama to relationships of close, deep and strong love.

Let's look at how "romantic relationships" usually start...

They meet online or through a friend.

They like the look of each other.

They start the process of getting to know each other...

which usually turns into kissing...

which many times leads to sex...

which is fun for awhile...

But then suddenly they start to get to know each other for who they really are...

They become less sexually appealing,

or perhaps less sexually aggressive.

One person needs exclusivity at some point,

which is okay at first...

until someone else comes along that is exciting,

and the one who is "excited" doesn't know how to manage their feelings,

and manange the expectations of the other partner.

What they generally assume, is that they have simply fallen out of love.

One partner may start to feel like the feelings aren't equally intense,

but they chalk it up to having come out of the "honeymoon stage."

Neither partner communicates their feelings to the other for fear of hurting the other...

because they "love them," afterall....

And so it goes for a bit, until they do end up hurting each other through non-communication, cheating, or unintentionally withdrawing their "love" and affection from their partner.

I don't need the drama, thanks... I prefer mutual respectful, compassionate, and considerate love.

What would that look like?

They meet online or through a friend.

They like the look of each other.

They begin the process of getting to know each other..

which generally leads to kissing,

but now they start to share their needs and expectations.

If they decide to have sex, how will their intimacy affect their relationship?

Does one or both partners need exclusivity to continue? Or can they have sex casually?

Let's say they have a non-exclusive friendship for awhile, along with casual sex...

and one or both partners begins to develop deeper feelings...

which can happen...

So they talk about what those feelings mean, and how they affect the previous agreement they established.

Does one or both partners want to become "romantically" attached?

Do they want kids?

Do they want to be married? (and yes, the conversation can go in that order)

Or maybe they don't need their love to turn into responsibility for the other....

Do they feel okay to "love" each other without having emotional and physical rights to the other?

Can they be mutually respectful and affectionate without "gaining anything" from the other?

Can they be friends forever, whether or not they continue to have sex?

Both scenarios may start similarly, but they evolve into very different human connections. You often hear the term "falling" in-love in respect to romance. Romantic Love is controlled by just one person. They "court" the other, creating feelings of dependency and infatuation with how the other makes them feel. They make the object of their affection seem like they are the center of their universe. Both partners at times even feel empty and lonely while they are in-love. They are "love-sick," when they are not together, feel "heartaches" when something doesn't feel right. They would "die without the affections of their love." And just as easily as they "fell in-love", they can withdraw their intense feelings, leaving the other feeling empty, desperate and helpless. Which is exactly what they are... they can't control the feelings or actions of the other.

Ugh... not for me thanks...I don't want to ride that emotional roller coaster, or be the center of someone's universe, and be responsible for their happiness. That is not to say that I am unwilling to be mindful, considerate, and even make compromises for someone I love.

In the second example both persons make conscious, self-aware decisions to choose to love the other person. It doesn't thrive on only the intense sense of passion and adoration of one person, and can't be destroyed by just one of them either. They have seen each other for who they are, and most likely have been overwhelmed with love by qualities of that person. Their feelings are rooted to something of substance, something that can be sustained, and grown, and cannot be simply taken away at a moments notice.

This kind of love is truly unconditional. It doesn't depend on whether or not two people are friends, lovers, husband and wife, or rarely see each other. This kind of humanity is something that we are all capable of, and in my opinion, should be what is valued, celebrated, and practiced.