Friday, November 28, 2014

How to shave your lover...

As Movember comes to a close, I felt it was the perfect follow-up to our previous post, "To Shave or not to Shave." While shaving his overgrown beard from his month of facial growth in support of men's health is NOT what we're talking about here... I suppose the same tips and techniques could be applied. I would definitely, however; consult with a trusted and known source for expert advice in this area. ;)

As for the nether regions, I feel pretty confident sharing my years of experience and expertise! Shaving your lover can be a super sexy and erotic experience for both of you. Not only because you're staring their private parts in the face, but because they've also trusted you with the most intimate bits and pieces. So take a deep breath, calm your nerves, 'cuz shaky hands aren't a good thing when you've a sharp object around their genitals.

1. First things first, BE PREPARED!! Shaving delicate parts require the right tools. A foamy shave cream for a smooth shave, and a new razor. A good disposable razor is fine for this. (You may also need some scissors if they haven't done much trimming in the area recently. Make sure the hair is short enough to be shave easily.)

2. Set the scene: Light some candles in the bathroom, but don't dim the lights too much (you need to see what you're doing, and you'll want to!!) Play some sexy tunes, pour yourselves a glass of wine, or a scotch neat, and settle in for the adventure ahead.

3. Warm the hair follicles with a hot bath, shower, or warm washcloth first.

4. Apply the foaming shave cream or work up a good lather with a soap, or use hair conditioner!

5. Always shave WITH the grain of the hair growth!! I will admit, there were times when I shaved against the grain of my hair growth, BUT I WAS A PROFESSIONAL!! I needed to get a super code shave, and I knew what the consequences might be! Don't take this risk with your lover's body. Razor burn sucks, and can potentially ruin the night.

6. Don't worry too much about the finished product. It's not about the end result, but about the experience. Use your wet fingers to run them over the area around their genitals and anus to make sure you haven't missed any stray hairs. Have them place a leg up on the side of the bathtub, or on a stool and kneel before them while you work. Tell them what you see. Comment on how much you love seeing their naked flesh.

Be careful with sharp objects!! Play safe, and have fun!

To hear to the full show on Shaving, listen to Episode 15 on Play With on Playboy Radio.

To Shave or Not to Shave?

Pubic hair is a touchy conversation. People either love it or hate it, and those who hate it think nobody should have it. I am surprised to hear women talk about other women’s bodies that offend them. “If you’re gonna be naked in the locker room, you need to whack that bush!” “Nobody wants to see that!” Don’t women who want to keep their natural hair “down there” deserve the same consideration as those who want to shave or wax it? No other topic I’ve discussed has ever garnered the same reaction as the question of whether or not to shave your pubic hair.

The fact is, we’ve been obsessed with pubic hair for centuries… even in early art history, pubic hair was taboo. Roger Friedland wrote an interesting dissertation on the topic of why pubic hair has been slowly disappearing. He points out that even artists such as Michaelangelo painted hairless nudes, as showing pubic hair was forbidden. When Francisco de Goya did create his work La Maja Desnuda with full bush for the Spanish Prime Minister (who kept it hidden in a private room, and only showed it to people he trusted), he was called before the Spanish Inquisition to defend himself and his art. The woman in the painting was not only showing her pubic hair, but was also looking right at you, the voyeur. The suggestion that she was not ashamed of her nakedness added to the scandal of the work itself. The controversial piece suggested a woman who owned her own sexual desire and that idea was frightening.

He goes on to explain that in the 1950’s and 60’s when nudity in film was banned, that producers would simply omit pubic to have the film approved. Edward Craven Walker (the creator of the lava lamp, and Naturism advocate) was able to successfully produce his naturist films by this little loop hole.

So when did pubic hair make it’s debut in the mainstream? 1974, the year Hustler showed bush for the first time. It was shocking to be actually showing the secret garden of sex and magic that lies between a woman’s legs…showing the raw, thought provoking, hormone inducing patch of fur that promised pleasure within.

And how did this divine moment lead to the disappearance of the bush? According to Friedland, it was also what was happening in the feminist movement and how Hustler as well as Playboy and other men’s magazines produced spin offs that could be considered a response to the Equal Rights Amendment of 1972. He theorizes that these liberated women of the time were full of hair, and men craved a return to the submissive, sexually available female who was available for his pleasure…. then came Barely Legal. Girls who looked so young, who had less pubic hair, who were ready and waiting to please. His suggests that the lack of pubic hair de-humanizes the female genitalia, creating an emotionally-free zone, free from the instincts of biology and reproduction, therefore allowing a blank space to simply fuck.

This theory definitely makes many valid points, but I wonder if those same points could also be used to argue that women were also empowered by taking control of their genitalia in the same way? Perhaps these women also wanted a sex life free from emotional ties and potential reproductive consequence. Perhaps desexualizing their own genitals made them feel more casual about sex for recreation.

Whatever the reason that pubic hair began disappearing in public, the general populace seems to be happy about it. While the small group of people I polled are about even when it comes to whether it should be gone, or allowed to roam somewhat trimmed, but freely, most definitely preferred it wasn’t wild. People associate pubic hair with uncleanliness. They commented on the possible smells, unwanted hitchhikers, and overall “mess” that could be connected with unruly pubes. So if you care what your lover might say about your bush being wild a free, I would suggest you trim it back before the first encounter, or simply ask what they prefer. If you’re a man or woman who likes your partner to have more than a hacked lawn, you may also want to ask them to go a little lighter on the trim.

Not all of us sexually active people prefer a bald vulva or penis. In fact, some of us are slightly less turned on when the pants come off and there’s no fur to nuzzle our faces into. Some of us love the fresh, and not-so-fresh smell of our lover at the end of a long day, so before you go crazy with the razor, have a conversation with your current sex partner and find out what they like to see and feel when you drop your drawers.

To listen to the entire episode on "To Shave or Not to Shave" on Play With Me on Playboy Radio, click here!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Tinder Tips, Online Flirting, and how to sext your wife!!

The world of online dating and cyber flirtations is one that requires some experience and navigation. My single and divorced friends seem to fair pretty well, but I can't imagine having to actually sift through the plethora of potential mates that are readily available. Not to mention, the rejection, inappropriate and sometimes shocking messages that seem to be a part of the game.... and yes, it is a game.

There is definitely an element of fun and excitement that comes along with setting up a profile on any social media, and dating sites are even more hormone inducing. The fact that the you're even creating a profile on a dating site brings a certain testosterone and adrenaline boost. The thrill of the possibilities and the initial "likes" and "matches" pump chemicals straight from the brain into the bloodstream. Scientists are already testing theories on how these constant dopamine boosts affect our brain and body development, but for the time being, let's just concede that these responses do in fact exist. You know the feeling... your phone dings... your Facebook notifies you that someone likes your post... your Instagram and Twitter accounts boast new followers... dopamine, dopamine, dopamine... reward for a job well done.

Now let's apply this to the online dating scene. You post a profile, you swipe right on a hot girl or guy, and it's a match! Instant wood.... later you get a notification that they like your "moment," or has sent you a "message." GAME ON. What happens from here is entirely in the way you play it.

Guys: If you send a message, try something more than "Hi." Or "Hello." Unless it's a very enthusiastic "Helloooooo...." followed by an excited Emoji. Give us girls some recognition. Comment on something you saw or read on the profile. Make us feel a little special. Whether you want to actually date us or just have sex with us… it’s all the same game. Make conversation. Give us a chance to feel comfortable with you. If we’re DTF, we’ll let you know. The banter will come naturally.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES start sending immediate messages about your dick, her mouth, or any other sexual part of her body!!!


If she hasn’t asked for a pic of your third leg, don’t send it… no matter how awesome you think you are. We just don’t respond well to uninvited images of your bits and pieces, sorry guys. Women need an emotional component to visual stimuli, we don’t need to be in-love, but we need… something…

That being said, once she’s asked for a naughty pic, make it good one. Bathroom selfies are fine, if you’re laying in bed, please take the socks off, or crop them out of the picture. If you’re hand is on your featured asset, make sure your nails and your joystick are clean.

Girls: It's pretty simple. What is the goal? If it's to find a real relationship, don't come on too strong with the flirtatious vibes. Tinder is generally known as a hook-up site, so be forewarned. But I also do know of people who like the people they meet on Tinder better than any other site or app, and even people who have gotten married. But be clear about your purpose. If you want to date a guy, don’t send seductive messages, or sexy selfies once you go off Tinder and onto texts. Wait until you’ve actually met them in person (and perhaps even had sex with them) before you send suggestive messages. It can be confusing to these poor guys who, let’s face it, may not know exactly what they want.

If you’re looking for a straight hook-up, be direct. Again, guys can be a little clueless, or even scared, so make your messages as plain as possible. That doesn’t mean they don’t like a little banter too, or even to feel like they’ve chase you a little bit… but DO let them know that you’re not playing games. Ask them to take the conversation off of Tinder, ask them for pics, so you know what you’re getting when the clothes come off, and that they actually do look like their profile pics. Be cautious of which racy pics you send, no faces or identifying marks!! If this is a "hit it and quit it" situation, you can’t trust that they won’t be shared.

Here are a few tips for getting your profile liked on these apps and sites:

1. Both sexes: Use your best pics first! The initial swipes are based on looks… shallow, but true. If you’re not the most attractive guy or gal, ask an honest pal which pics make you look the most interesting or appealing. NO Seatbelt car pics... for real. And try to post pics that show a variety of facial expressions to really show your personality.

2. Guys: Don’t post pics of you with a fish! Women just don’t care. If you are into fishing, tell them in person. If you’re trying to send subliminal messages about your ability to provide food for me… uh. please don’t … Ladies: This applies to your pics with your kids. Yes, you're a mom, but unless you're looking for a replacement daddy, nobody cares about your kids yet. Just write it in the profile description.

3. Both sexes: Don’t post multiple pics with a bunch of friends. First of all, they'll have to figure out which one is you, and they might think one of your friends is hot. So if they did date you, and your friend showed up somewhere, it could get complicated. One is fine, multiples is just asking for a left swipe.

4. Both sexes: Make sure we can see your face clearly. If there are too many far away shots… it’s a left swipe.

5. Both sexes: Pics with puppies and or cats... play this one modestly. Guys: we know you're playing with our emotions here, so just know that we're on to you. Girls: Too many cat pics are a red flag... just saying.

So how do the married people get in on the game? Send naughty messages to each other!! Pretend as though you're meeting online for the first time, and start a conversation. Perhaps you're created "stage names" ahead of time, so you know that when your husband or wife refer to you as a certain name, that it's time to play. Give them the dopamine jolt by dinging their phone with flirtatious and sexy messages throughout the day. Ask them to meet you for coffee, or a cheap motel room and play out the fantasy of hooking up for the first time. Not only do you get to flirt with your partner, but the two of you can also play out roles that might be different from your everyday lives. Don't let the stress of work and family life kill your sex-life with your partner. Find ways to create fun games and new sexual experiences for each other to keep them lusting you, even after all these years.

If you need tips on how to take a sexy selfie, read my post here!

To hear to the full show on Tinder Tips, Online flirting, and how to sext your wife, listen to Episode 15 on Play With on Playboy Radio.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Get Jacked! Which rabbit is right for you?

With so many choices available, how’s one to decide which rabbit is “the one?” This question may seem trivial, but just like men, rabbits come in all different shapes, sizes, options, and colors. They provide different types of stimulation, come with different motors, and provide you with different orgasms.

So let’s break it down like we would a lover:

The Romantic

The Sport Fuck

The Ass Man

The Voyeur

The Giver

The Romantic-Just like his title suggests, the Romantic is a deep kisser. They like to breathe you in and give you pleasure that feels like a long delicious exhale. Can a rabbit really do that, you ask? Depends on the rabbit. I had the pleasure (literally) of reviewing one such rabbit. There's something about the sensual rotation of this particular shaft, and the velvety smooth silicone material that slides easily inside with very little lubrication... Just saying.

The Sport Fuck- You know him… he’s always good for an energetic bang, and he can do it for hours… great if you want to skip the gym and make sex your workout. He isn’t much into emotional connection, in fact, he may not actually look you in the eyes at all. It doesn’t matter, because you can’t really take your eyes off his fine ass body anyway... and by the time he’s done with you, you look like you’ve been through the tumble dry. You’d be satisfied getting drilled by this powerful rabbit… may I introduce you to the Power Bumper …

The Ass Man-No matter what position this lover puts you in, you know they’ll never really be happy unless they get to play with your ass. And this works just fine for you, you like a little ass play every now and then too. There are a few triple stimulators out there, but this one provides a flexible slim probe with it’s own dedicated bullet to stimulate the perineum, or insert into the anus for intense pleasure.

The Voyeur-aw yeah, they like to watch. You’ve seen the smile on their face widen as they watches you climax. The rabbit vibe itself is not the voyeur in this situation, but rather a key player to the scene. He straps to your lover’s leg to provide a front row seat to all your contorted and satisfied faces. In this scenario, you'll need two components, the strap on thigh harness, and the Jack Rabbit ring, but I promise you, with these two items, someone will be getting a great show. BONUS: you can use them separately for all kinds of other play.

The Giver- Just as the name suggests this rabbit vibe straps onto your lover’s body and gives them the ability to pleasure you. Imagine feeling the weight of them on top of you as you're being massaged internally, vibrated internally, and deeply kissed passionately by the person wearing the vibe… ‘nuff said.

To purchase any of these products, message me for details, or shop online and enter coupon code: PLAYME for free shipping on your entire order.

Hear the entire show and reviews of some of these rabbits on Episode 11 on my show Play With Me on Playboy Radio.