"My husband and I want to start playing with anal toys, but what kind should we get?!"

I recently got a message from a client who wanted to start exploring anal play, but didn't know what she would like. Here's some suggestions of what's available and what products might be the right fit for your tush!

If you are new to anal play, one of the best types of toys you can try is an anal plug. It is available in a range of sizes, materials and shapes. If your goal is to insert something into the anus for the first time and experience the sensation of having something in your bum, then you may want to opt for something smaller and graduate to a larger plug once you know you like the feeling, or your goals change.

I really like the glass plug from Pipedreams Icicles collection. It’s only about 2 inches long and will slide in easily with a little lubrication. This plug could easily be worn during foreplay and intercourse and will add an extra sensation of fullness as well as excitement for you and your lover. Just the thought of knowing that something is in your tush is an erotic suggestion to fuel hot and sexy playdates.

The icicles 46 is shaped for his pleasure. The slight bulbous tip is curved to stimulate the prostate gland and provide him with intense sensations and pressure. The smooth glass glides in easily with a little lubrication, and you can rotate the shaft to find his favorite spot. His prostate is located inside the anus and up toward his penis. He can lie on his back while you stroke his penis and rub his testicles. Or you can ride him reverse cowgirl and play with his prostate while you take care of your own pleasure.

If your desire is to create an anal journey of pleasure and exploration, anal beads are a perfect addition to your bedroom toybox. Beads are not a simple insert and leave in type of toy. Your lover will delicately communicate and insert each bead as your body accepts them. Then you can either leave them in during intercourse, and slide them out as you climax, or your lover can insert and withdraw randomly while they also play with your clitoris or add finger or penis penetration into the receiver’s vagina, or if the receiver is male, orally pleasure and manually stroke the shaft of the penis. The sensation of delicious surprise as each bead slides in or out is an intense and pleasurable experience in an intimate area of your body.

Want to penetrate your partners booty, but don’t have a penis? No problem! You can strap on a dildo and experience the dominance and dynamic of giving someone else pleasure. Even though you don’t “feel” the actual sensation that they would, the visual of seeing yourself disappear inside your lover, and hearing the sounds of them moaning is a highly erotic way to experience of pleasure of giving. Have your lover “accept” you and take you in, while your hands are free to touch, massage, spank, or squeeze your lovers body. You can move slow, and lightly caress and squeeze them, kissing them deeply while they face you. Or try having them bent over on all fours, and enjoy the assertive touch of spanking them while you penetrate them deep and hard. Make sure you communicate the types of touch, play, and penetration they like, so you both can enjoy consensual and pleasurable intercourse.

Or maybe you like the idea of penetrating, but don’t want to actually strap one on? There are several probes and vibrators designed to be inserted into the anus. I recommend hard plastic, glass, wood, metal, and silicone materials for safe and comfortable anal play. The size and shape of the probe or vibrator depends on the person receiving it. Ask them what appeals to them. Show them a few different styles and ask what they would prefer. Will this be used to prepare their anus for penile penetration later? If so, they might want a few different types of toys to slowly bring their muscles to a relaxed and stretched state before you penetrate them with your own man parts. Anal plugs tend to taper to a thinner girth at the base. While this is great for the feeling of fullness during play, it may not stretch the actual sphincter enough to accommodate your penis when the time comes. Adding a second toy that maintains it’s girth at the base might allow your lover’s muscles to stretch more to accept your average-to-large member.

And let’s not forget the lube! The anal canal does not self-lubricate for penetration. Always include a lubricant that provides some slip and slide for the receivers comfort and pleasure. I recently had the opportunity to try Uberlube…. and will be keeping it on my nightstand from now on. I am a fan of silicone lubes in general for anal play as they stay slick longer, don’t tend to get sticky, and provide enough lubrication for penetration to feel sexy. Uberlube kept it’s viscosity during play, and then was easily washed off, or just rubbed in afterward. I didn’t have to keep applying lube, or adding spit to make it stay slick, which was a huge plus. I could just focus on the pleasure at hand… and fingers…

A few tips from Kenneth Play and Charlie Glickman were to also have towels, wipes for easy clean up, and latex or polyurethane gloves and condoms handy. Anal play does lend itself to bacterial exposure so take steps to keep the playtime clean and safe. Wearing gloves on hands and putting condoms on toys or penises keeps playtime continuous. You won’t have to jump up and wash off when you’re ready to move onto other things! And most importantly, COMMUNICATE!! Anal play can be a scary or uncomfortable prospect, but can also create intense pleasure and intimacy in your relationships. So discuss what each of your fantasies and desires are, as well as boundaries as you explore, and you’ll discover new erotic sensations together.

If you need more tips on types of anal play and techniques for how to please your lover during anal play, listen to the entire episodes of my Anal August shows on Play With Me on Playboy Radio!