I've been reading all the scandalous gossip swirling around Hollywood's sweetheart, Sandra Bullock and her not so sweet husband, Jesse James. His alleged affair with tattoo model Michelle "Bombshell" McGee is a nauseating, overwhelming, and completely un-shocking chapter in the world of guilty pleasures. But as much as I would like to comment on the details, I am already tired of the story. What I do find interesting is the combination of a this "breaking news" in the aftermath of Sandra Bullock's Oscar win as best actress (yes, I know it's officially "actor"), to the interview between Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner Mo'nique and Barbara Walters.
We are so quick to talk about the cheating husband, the poor unsuspecting wife, and the slutty mistress, but nobody is talking about the happily married couple in a self-proclaimed "open marriage."
Here's a woman who is confident enough to NOT SHAVE her hairy legs, and says an affair is not a deal breaker in their relationship. I salute the strength and honesty of Mo'nique. I think her attitude and outlook on marriage, especially in Hollywood is a much more realistic approach to the unnatural agreement of monogamy.
Yes, I said UNnatural. Humans are not monogamous by nature. We have been socially programmed to be monogamous as a survival tactic. Long before religion had a say in how we should be committed to one another, evolution played a role in determining the optimal relationship status for humans. Homo sapiens were in danger of becoming extinct, there was a strong desire to procreate and speculation suggests that had early man been monogamous, that inbreeding would have done our species in.
Marriage is a relatively modern concept: a contractual agreement before God and country that two people promise to practice monogamy and remain partners til death. For this promise, they receive status and tax benefits... sounds romantic doesn't it?
Sandra Bullock proclaimed her love for Jesse James, and thanked him at nearly every recent acceptance speech I can think of. She obviously bought into the whole monogamy thing, and yet he allegedly has not.
Mo'nique and Sydney Hicks have publicly claimed they have an open marriage. She told Barbara Walters on her Oscar interview that if either of them wanted to have an affair with another person that it would not jeopardize their marriage.
So, for all of you in relationships, I think it's the perfect time to discuss these two award winning actresses and decide which one you'll be. Will you be the lead actor in a role, getting blindsided when you discover that your supporting actor isn't who you thought he was, or will you be happily fulfilled as a best supporting actress to your lifelong partner?
Let's face it folks, there are two kinds of lovers out there, one who is dedicated to and capable of monogamy, and those who aren't. The problem is, most people don't find out if their spouse is on the same page until it's too late. Mo'nique has blazed a trail to openly discuss marriage with your partner. Whether or not you decide to walk down the path to truth is up to you.