We’ve heard that men are more visually stimulated and women are more audibly stimulated. B what the studies really represent is the encompassing of all the senses for women to be truly turned on. While the actual physicality of the act of sex can stimulate the male brain, women require an emotional component to the visual. I’m not saying they have to see a romantic story per se, but that generally there needs to be a story attached to the act, thus creating an emotional piece to the scene.
So what does this have to do with talking dirty?
What you say is as important as how you say it. Whether you’re telling your girl she’s a dirty slut, or that she’s a goddess who deserves to be worshipped, you’re creating a feeling. Telling a story before, during, or after your hot sex session isn’t rocket science, but it’s definitely an art.
So how does your partner want to be talked to? What kind of sounds and words do they respond well to? And what words DON’T work for them? Have they told you how sexy you sound when you’re cumming? This is a good indication that they like hearing you. If you’re not sure if they’ll respond well to dirty talk, try whispering in their ear a few light and sexy phrases.
“You feel so good…”
“If you keep doing that, you’re going to make me cum.”
If they give you a a vocal response of any kind, they are probably open or at least intrigued by your words. This is a great way to test the waters before cannonballing in. After you’ve finished your session, talk about it. Ask them if they liked it when you talked in their ear. Ask them if they’d like you to talk more. Ask them what kind of things they’d like to hear. For example, many of our female panel wasn't turned on by the words penis and vagina. So saying, "I want to lick your vagina" may not get the juices flowing. Similarly, "Suck my penis" didn't make any top five lists either... in case you felt compelled to use the anatomical words for your sex bits. Some women would be be turned on by being called a "whore," while others would get up a leave. So find out their YES! words, as well as the ones that dry up the well, or shrivel the boys. Otherwise, tread lightly.
Once you get the green light, see where your dirty dialogue takes you! Will it be descriptive? Intructional? Or used for playing out fantasy scenarios? Will you tell them how you can wait to make love to them, or what they will be wearing when you get home from work, and what you will do to them if they are not obedient, or will you be the head master at an all girl's Catholic School who's just found out she has been smoking in the bathroom? The possibilities are endless when it comes to the magic that can spew from your lips. Let it flow, get creative, be frisky, be playful, and bask in the magic of your sexual lyrics.
New to Dirty Talk and need some tips? Here are some expert tips from former Phone Sex Operator and Sex Educator Ashley Manta!
1. Use someone else’s words… read straight from some erotica.
2. Practice out loud while you’re alone driving in the car, or while you masturbate. (bonus: it makes masturbation hotter too!)
3. Dirty Madlibs! You can fill in the blanks to create some super sexy and orgasm inducing statements. Dowload her free e-book here to get more tips to mind-blowing dirty talk.
Long Distance lovers? Start their day off with a naughty text and keep the fun going all day long. Arrange a day and time when you can both stay focused on your phone frolic! You'll be surprised how much the written word can keep people connected who are challenged by distance. Hone your skills via text and recorded voice memos and see how practice makes perfect when your expert prose finally has the chance to be spoken in person.Listen to our full show Episode 7 on Playboy Radio, including some suggestions of talking dirty from our listeners, our panel, and the interview with Ashley Manta!