Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What's Jack got?! New Thrusting action!

I wrote an article about Jack Rabbits years ago, attesting to their amazing ability to give women quick, satisfying, and multiple orgasms. Now they've upped the ante. These new Thrusting Jack Rabbit vibes from Cal Exotics really know how to... ahem... stick it to you!

The "Original" Jack Rabbit has had women at hello for the past several years, so it's about time they came up with some intense upgrades to give us something to wish for! The new waterproof Thrusting Jack Rabbit is made with TPE and it's controls are fully encompassed within the big boy itself. He stands at just over 11" but only 4.75 of those is insertable, with a vibrating, pulsating, and escalating rabbit to tickle your clitoris! With five rows of stimulating balls, you're almost GUARANTEED an orgasm or two. Three rows that thrust as the lower two rows spin for stimulation at the vaginal introitus (opening), which is where you have the most nerve endings aside from the beloved clitoris.

The question is, "How lazy do you want to be?" This toy will literally do ALL THE WORK FOR YOU! You won't even need to move it in or out to find the right spot. It will simulate penetration in a 1/2 inch area, providing enough excitement to get you off.

A great multifunction vibe for the couple who likes to play together. He can turn it on and watch her writhe. Only requires 4 AA batteries for nights of endless pleasure!

Need one for your toy box? Get a thrusting vibe here!

And here's the old article for your enjoyment (and convenience)!
Girls of today are paying their own way, opening their own doors and getting themselves off, so what’s a guy to do? Spy on the competition! He’s got a true 6.5” shaft, that’s made of pink jelly, filled with rotating pearls, and has a vibrating rabbit that is positioned exactly where she wants it! Not only does he supply multiple O’s in record time, but he’s ready to go at the drop off a hat and turns off with the click of a button.

The good news? “JACK” doesn’t kiss back. Most women include french kissing as the #1 thing they want in a sexual encounter. See, we still need you for something! But don’t fool yourselves boys, we don’t always want to be kissed or even talked to. The Nielsen Net Ratings reports show that over 25% of the people logging into adult websites are women. That’s more than 10 million in December of last year alone! Women are just as interested in sex as you are. And surprise! We don’t necessarily require conversation, validation, or to be “held” afterwards. If you think you’re enough to satify her every desire, think again. 75% of women the age of 25-34 own atleast one sex toy .

So how do you compete? Beat him at his own game! You are delicious sensual flesh, you have the abs, the arms and the ass we love to squeeze! Add a vibrating cock ring to your piece d’resistance and voila! You have become the ultimate jack rabbit! One who is capable of completely engaging us in hours of sexual bliss. Or buy one for your girl and watch her eyes (and legs) open wide.... Bring Jack into your foreplay routine and she’ll be like warm butter when you finally get your turn. Sloppy seconds? Hardly! The truth is that the vaginal walls contract (tighten) during orgasm. Get her off once or twice before you thrust your love muscle, and you’ll both be happier you did.

There’s something to be learned from Jack.... Jack’s only quest in life is to please the ladies, and he does it with ease. He only requires three “C” batteries and a little cleanup in between. So next time you dive into her oasis consider this: You are replaceable.

Friday, December 4, 2009

"Dirty" Hanukkah?- Why can't I find any sexy Hanukkah gifts?

If you're celebrating Hanukkah, you will be busy trying to find sexy gifts for the Festival of Lights. There are several thousand options for Naughty Stocking stuffers and Sexy Santa costumes for gentiles, but a whole lot of nothing for those of you "zitsn oyf shpilkes" when the lights go down on the those eight nights!

What's a horny Jew to do?! Stop shvitsn, I searched some fun ideas for a sexy night (or all eight) to remember!

1. Start with a sexy Hanukkah card to get the week off to a great start. Make sure you write some sexy plans for the nights to come, or at least promise some fun footsy under the table, after you pass the kugel....

2. Play a game of Strip Dreidel!

Instead of scoring coins, candies, or pretzels, you'll get to score some action.
Nun - Nisht - the player doesn't take anything off, or put anything on.
Gimmel - Gantz - the player must remove an undergarment.
Hey - Halb - The player puts on an article of clothing from the "pot."
Shin - Shtel - The player removes an article of clothing and places it into the "pot."

3. Find a new way to enjoy your gelt!
After a game of "Strip" dreidel, be sure to put those golden coins to good use. Melt them down and use a paintbrush (you can buy a small one at the hardware store for under $1) to brush sweet nothings on your lover's body. Or stay in the spirit of Hanukkah and paint the star of David. Hey, who I am to judge? If melting the chocolate is too much work, you can buy chocolate sauce and brush here... but it's not kosher.

4. Spice up the Brisket!
Make your nights heat up with the help of a natural aphrodisiac, Cayenne. The spice, when ingested, dilates the blood vessels increasing circulation to all the major organs. It is believed that cayenne aids in longer lasting erections, with stronger ejaculations and more intense orgasms.

5. Set the mood with sexy Hanukkah music! It's not all "I have a little dreidel" out there... there's plenty of cool jew music available to stay in the holiday spirit without making you feel like you're a kid. This talented band has put an Indy spin on making fun music about Jewish traditions, a la Adam Sandler, but with a funky beat. The actual words kinda sneak up on you! In fact, I'd even play their "Nun, Gimmel, Heh, Shin" track while playing Strip Dreidel...

There's also a great electro disco track from Kitsune:complilation 6 entitled Hanukkah, this compilation of various artists on the Hanukkah Lounge, a perfect soundtrack to your night of sipping martinis or scotch while you enjoy the company of friends and family. And of course, you always have Matisyahu

6. Give them the gift of pleasure.
Not all your gift giving needs to be practical! Give them a beautiful glass toy to enhance your lovelife, and stay in the spirit of the Holiday. YES, it is blue and white, and it even lights up!! What could be more perfect?

7. Add new positions to your lovemaking!
Liberator shapes are an amazing addition to your bedroom. The woman's pelvis is lifted to just the right position for G-spot stimulation and gives her access to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. The man gets the benefit of maintaining positions effortlessly to enjoy angles without killing his lower back... let's face it, who really enjoys manual labor?

8. Dress up for the Occasion!
Who says there's no sexy Hanukkah fairy? Slip into this costume, and make all his dreams comes true!